Separation Anxiety: What does it look like?

by | Jul 29, 2020 | Mental Health, Parenting with Purpose, School, Tips

Please share!
Separation Anxiety

Is your child anxious about going back to school? Is separating from you difficult for your child? It might be at school, daycare, or another activity? It might be when you leave to go out shopping or for another reason. How do you know if it is normal or if it is something that you need to see your pediatrician about?  Separation anxiety is real for many children. 

Having difficulty separating from a parent for children does happen at some point in their life. This usually happens between the ages of 18 months and 3 years old.  Children are clingy to some degree in the early years.  They may show signs of being anxious about separating from a parent. How do you help your child with separation anxiety?

As a consequence of distance learning happening in March children have not been in school for an extended amount of time. As a result, this may create some anxiousness returning to school. 

A place where they felt safe and had routine and boundaries ended abruptly. Hence the feeling of fear or uncertainty may be seen in many children when returning to school in September. So how can you help your child through this experience? 

The main difference between normal separation anxiety and separation anxiety disorder is the intensity of your child’s fears and their reaction. If it is causing significant challenges academically, socially and emotionally then it would be wise to contact your pediatrician. 

When symptoms are extreme reach out for more support.  Additionally, symptoms may occur after a break from school or after a long-term illness. Therefore, you may notice the first symptoms of SAD appearing when your child is in 3rd or 4th grade.

Symptoms

Some of the symptoms of a child that is struggling with separation and may have Separation Anxiety Disorder (SAD) could be: 

  • Refusing to sleep alone.
  •  Lots of worry when parted from home or family.
  • Refusing to go to school.
  • Frequent stomachs, headaches.
  • Being very clingy.
  • Refusal of going to school.

For example, a student that is struggling with separating from a parent may come into school and hold onto the parent so the parent cannot leave. Consequently, the child may also run after the parent, cry, or have a tantrum. It is almost like they are having a panic attack – they do not know how to act because they are so afraid of being separated from a parent.

Another example is when a child refuses to go to school. They will not get on the bus or leave their house. They may say they do not feel well. There have been times when parents get them in the car, but cannot get them out of the car once they get to school.

help

How can you help your child when they are struggling with separation anxiety? Here are some tips to help ease your child and you, the parent, through this:

  • Practice. Practice being apart from each other. Introduce new people or places slowly. Invite the person, like a babysitter, over ahead of time to sit and play while you are still there. This will help your child feel more comfortable when it is time for you to leave.
  •  Be consistent. Have a routine for when you know that you will be leaving. Let your child know ahead of time where, when and with whom they will be with. Let them know when you will be returning and stay on time.
  • Anticipate separation difficulty. Be prepared for transitions. This includes going to school or meeting friends or another activity that does not involve the parent staying at the same place as the child. Talk about it ahead of time to try and prepare your child using positive reinforcements.
  • Offer choices. By offering your child choices it gives them a sense of control which may help them to be successful.
  •  Relaxation. Teach your child some relaxation techniques like breathing for a certain amount of time or using counting to a certain number and then counting backwards. 

Easing separation anxiety at school

1.      Communicate with the child’s teacher, school counselor, and possibly the principal about a plan for the child to return to school. Furthermore, if everyone is on the same page it goes much smoother.

2.      If a child has been absent for an extended amount of time make sure to welcome them and give them time to reenter the school environment.

3.      Provide them with a safe place to enter the school and possibly go sit in the office or a safe place for them for a certain amount of time. During that time they can do something they enjoy.

4.      They may need to enter the school earlier than the other students.

5.      A phone call home or some contact after the child has been in the school successfully is an option too. For some students they just need to hear the voice of a parent and know that they are safe.

6.      Have a staff member or friend that could meet them in the office so they have a connection point.

7.      Have a routine so they know what the expectations are for when they arrive at school.

Many children will be anxious returning to school. Communication with staff at your child’s school is so important. It will benefit your child and help them during times of discomfort and when they are feeling anxious. Set up a time to meet with staff and create a plan together that uses the child’s strengths. 

www.championyourparenting.com

Need support or just someone to listen to your concerns Schedule a Consultation.

Join the conversation in our Facebook Group.

Seperation Anxiety

By Dr. Kim Grengs, Parent Coach

Other posts you may be interested in

Is Your Child Ready For A Smart Phone?

Are you feeling pressure to buy a smart phone for your kids? Are you weighing the decision carefully? If so, good for you! It's a big decision to...

Social Media And Its Impact On Teens

Social media has become an integral part of your teenagers’ lives, shaping their interactions, self-perception and overall experiences. While social...

Putting a Positive Spin On Tech

It's common for parents to have battles with their kids about screens and technology use. So you are not alone! But what is often forgotten is that...

More Tools For Back To School

It’s almost time for kids to go back to school, and some kids are already back at school. Are you feeling anxious? Are your kids feeling unsure of...

Healthy Tech Habits For Back To School

As the back to school season approaches, you’re probably realizing that your family’s tech habits have suffered this summer! It’s easy to let things...

Preparing Your Kids for Friends and Back To School

As the back-to-school season approaches, you’re probably filled with the excitement and anticipation of your kids return to the classroom. While...

How To Combat Back To School Anxiety

Have you noticed the back to school supplies out at stores?  If you have seen them, so have your kids and they are probably starting to feel a...

Do You Know Your Parenting Strengths?

Do you know what your strengths are in parenting? Identifying your strengths will help you to understand yourself better and learn how to be a...

How To Help Teens Dealing With Change

No one experiences changes in life quite like teenagers! Adolescence is a phase filled with changes: physically, emotionally and socially. Teens...