Do You Appreciate Your Child’s Strengths?

by | May 11, 2021 | Family, Mental Health, Tips

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Child’s strengths

How well do you know your child? Do you appreciate your child’s strengths? All kids have strengths and preferred ways of feeling loved. Knowing your child’s strengths will benefit you and your child. It will also help build your child’s self-awareness and self-esteem. Getting to know your child’s preferred way of receiving love will help them feel loved. Parenting to your child’s strengths reflects how well you know your child.

kids watching sunrise, child's strengths

How Well Do You Know Your Child’s Strengths?

Childhood should be a time to believe anything is possible. How can you as their parent, accentuate the positives and identify your child’s strengths? 

  • Write them down – jot a note when your child does something well.
  • Highlight them – speak words of affirmation to encourage them in their strengths.
  • Think about them in a consistent way – image the ways your child’s strengths will develop as they mature.
  • Talk about them – share with other’s your parental pride.

 5 Ways To Know Your Child

Although you know your child well, writing down your observations about your child helps identify their strengths. Use these five steps to organize your thoughts.

  1. Observing your child.
  2. Take notes on what their successes are.
  3. Take notes on how they show you love.
  4. What are they doing to gain your attention?
  5. Observe what their interests are.

How To Appreciate Your Child’s Strengths

Recognizing your child’s strengths can help your child thrive in life.  It will also help them to know their own potential. It can lead to resilience, confidence, being more productive and engaged, and provide hope for the future. Some strengths may include: Character, Social, Academic, Athletic, Mindfulness, Community, Creativity, and Entertainment.

Girl holding hammer, How to Parent to your child's strengths

 2 Tools to help YOU know your CHILD

Discover Strengths

One tool that you can use to find out your child’s strengths is the StrengthsExplorer. This online assessment can be purchased by going to Strengths-explorer.com.  There is also a webcast for parents that will give you information on how to grow the individual potential within a child. It is designed for children ages 10-14.  Your child will first take the assessment and then you will be provided  with a report with their top three Clifton StrengthsExplorer talents. It will also give you ideas to support and develop their strengths together.

  1. Achieving: You have goals and more energy than others.
  2. Discoverer: You are excited about exploring ideas and ask the questions “How?” and “Why?”
  3. Caring: Helping others is very important.
  4. Future thinker: You are a dreamer.
  5. Competing: You see many things in life as a game and are striving for first place.
  6. Organizer: Your passion is scheduling, organizing and planning.
  7. Confidence: You believe in yourself and are confident in your abilities.
  8. Presence: You are a leader and enjoy telling stories. 
  9. Dependability: Trust is important to you.
  10. Character is important to you. Relating: Your gift is making friends and keeping them for a long time.

 Do you recognize your child’s strengths in the above list? For more resources follow this link:

https://strengthsschool.com/strengths-explorer

Learn their Love Language

Another tool to use in getting to know your child is the Love Languages Survey. Love languages help parents to know how to fill their child’s emotional tank. They provide parents with the information of how their child wants a parent’s love expressed. The child is not consciously thinking about these things, but it is just a natural reaction to how they show their emotional desires. As the parent, observing and taking notes of these things will help you to know what you can do to fill their emotional love language. For example, does the child preferFor example, does the child prefer; Spending time with you or making gifts for you? Do they enjoy telling you how good you look or giving you hugs? Are they motivated by helping others? These are examples of their love languages. 

 5 Love Languages

As with adults, there are 5 Love Languages identified for children.

  1. Words of Affirmation: Compliments; focusing on telling your child positive things you notice.
  2. Quality Time: Playing with them; having conversations with them; spending time together.
  3. Receiving Gifts: Tangible gifts; giving them items (small or large).
  4. Acts of Service: Doing things for your child; It might be homework or something outside.
  5. Physical Touch: A hug; pat on the back; physical affection.

Love Languages Tool

One way to find out your child’s love language is by having them complete the Love Language Mystery Game. This game consists of your child answering some questions by choosing which one they like better and wish their mom or dad would say or do. There is another one similar provided by Thissideupfamily.org to use also. Once completed you tally up the number of each language to find out which one is your child’s love language.

By knowing your child’s love language, you will learn to speak their language and communicate their love. Children express and receive love in different ways. By providing them with love using their love language we will fill their emotional needs and provide them with the tools needed to succeed in life.  It is best to use all five love languages in some way. Your child will benefit from using all of them. Use their primary love language more frequently than the other four. 

Now Do You appreciate your child’s strengths?

Supporting your child unconditionally is accepting them for who they are completely. Concentrate on validating their emotions and participate in their interests. Each child is an individual. As their parents, we need to embrace them for who they are by learning about them.

Truly seeing our kids helps establish security and lets them feel that someone will embrace them for who they are. We want our children to know that we adore them for who they are and include all parts of them. Our relationship with our children matters the most. To learn more check out the resources below.

Strengths videos

girl painting, child's strength

 Strengths Video

 Character Strengths Video

Helping kids find their strengths

Parenting with Strengths

Love Language Resources

5 Love Languages Printable

Love Languages for Children

Children’s Book


By Dr. Kim Grengs, Ed. D, Parent Coach

do you appreciate your child’s strengths?

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